Don't Leave Me Alone
by keita52
Summary: Nearly losing Hawke has finally driven Varric over the edge. Instead of admitting that he has feelings, he just jumps her. Hawke doesn't mind.


Originally posted at the Dragon Age Kink Meme; edited to meet FF's standards for sexual content.

Because Inquisition moved this pairing into OTP territory.

* * *

Marian Hawke sat on her bed and tried to suppress the memories from the Fade. It wasn't working. That random crack on the wall reminded her of a crack on the ground; the sounds of soldiers sparring outside reminded her of the battles they had fought to get back, and the cries of a hawk outside reminded her of Stroud (_damn _him).

She felt her heart quicken in her chest, the fear and anxiety rising all over again. The battle had been over for days. She'd been back in her small, but comfortable room at Skyhold for hours. So why did it still feel like it was all only moments ago?

She closed her eyes. It was a mistake.

_"The Grey Wardens are my responsibility!" Stroud shouted._

_"And Corypheus is mine," Marian retorted. _

_"And if you think I'm letting you do this by yourself, you're dead wrong," Varric said. Marian turned to look at him, startled._

_"Varric, you can't-" she began. Varric had a place with the Inquisition. She'd seen him joking with Trevelyan, playing cards with Josephine, haggling for all he was worth with the various merchants who had set up at Skyhold. Marian didn't have anything like that anymore. Everything she'd worked for in Kirkwall was gone, destroyed in the same blast that had torn her heart in two. She'd thought she'd known Anders. She had been wrong._

_"The hell I can't," Varric retorted. "You stay, I stay. Simple as that."_

_"Stroud!" Trevelyan yelled, and everyone turned and saw that Stroud had taken advantage of the argument to run forward and engage the Nightmare. _

_"Get out of here!" Stroud yelled. _

_Marian had just stood there, nearly dumbfounded, until Trevelyan yanked on her arm. "He chose this path," the Inquisitor said. "Don't let his sacrifice go to waste."_

_Marian looked at Stroud one last time, and thought about all the things she had never said to him. Then she turned and followed Trevelyan out of the Fade._

"Hawke?"

Varric's voice brought her back to the present. Marian dashed away a tear and cleared her throat. "I'm here, Varric."

The door opened and Varric walked inside, a full wineskin in his hand. _Why didn't I think of that_? Marian wondered. She did her best to plaster a smile on her face. She _was_ glad to see him. He'd been by her side from the beginning, never betrayed her-

_Dammit, Anders._

"Hey," Varric said, striding over to the bed. He put the wineskin down and grabbed her hand. "Hawke? Talk to me."

Slowly, she felt the warmth from his hand spread through her body. It chased away some of the melancholy that had been her constant companion for - years, if she was being honest with herself. Ever since she left Kirkwall. Ever since -

"Hawke?"

Marian looked at Varric, focusing on his face for a long moment. "Can you ever be selfish?" she asked, a little bit of irritation in her voice. "Can you ever, for one moment, think of _yourself_ instead of someone else?"

"You know, usually those little speeches go the opposite way," Varric said. He let go of her hand and hopped up onto the bed next to her. "Usually, someone's castigating someone else for being selfish. Not the other way around."

"You know me," Marian quipped, and for a moment as though the last three years hadn't happened, all the sorrow banished and forgotten. "I always like to be contrary."

"Ain't that the truth," Varric said. "It's one of the things I -" He coughed. "Well, let's just say that you wouldn't be Hawke if you weren't contrary."

Marian laughed, and looked over at Varric. Her friend smiled and reached up a large hand to wipe away one of the tears that was still lingering on her face. Marian closed her eyes and, almost involuntarily, leaned into his touch.

"Sorry I couldn't let you die," Varric said quietly. "You know, I _was _being selfish, Hawke, I - I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I couldn't stand to lose you."

Marian smiled at him and thought that his answering smile was one of the sweetest things she had seen in a long time. The warmth that had started when he took her hand was spreading throughout her entire body. She could have joked that Varric just didn't want to lose his best source of stories, the hero he had helped create. She knew that it would be wrong - and more importantly, that it would spoil the moment that had sprung up between them. She felt like Varric's gaze pinned her in place, made it so she couldn't move - didn't want to move.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, Varric leaned in and kissed her. Marian's heart leapt as she returned the kiss. For a moment she thought that Varric might have been surprised at her response, but if he was, it quickly vanished and he pulled her close against him. Marian continued to return his kisses before she reluctantly broke it off to shift position, pulling Varric into her lap. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten how much dwarves weighed relative to their size and she fell backwards onto the bed. Varric followed, landing firmly on her chest. For a moment they just stared at one another, and then Marian gave a soft chuckle and pulled Varric's head down for another kiss. Their kisses grew progressively more heated and started making Marian feel like she had far too many clothes on. Eventually Varric rolled off of her, giving them both a moment to take in air. Then they were reaching for one another again and air was forgotten. Air and caution both, based on how Varric's hand had deftly slipped under her shirt and started to caress her breasts. Marian broke the kiss to let out a low moan, closing her eyes to revel in what she was feeling.

Apparently Varric took that as some kind of invitation, since next she knew Varric had gotten her on her back again and was tugging at her shirt. She obligingly helped him get it off, and unhooked her bra for him as well. Marian looked up at him and felt herself smiling, the first genuine smile in a long time. Then his mouth was crushing hers again, while one hand dropped to fondle her breast. Marian moaned and squirmed under his touch.

"Damn, Hawke," Varric said, his voice as low as Marian had ever heard it. "You know how to make a man feel welcome."

"You think this is a good welcome?" Marian asked in between gasps. "I'll show you, Varric Tethras." She lunged upward, driven by a need to pay Varric back for what he had just done to her. She shifted so that she was on her knees and bent down to undo the clasps at his waist, ridding him of the clothing that stood between her and her goal. She closed her hand around his thick shaft and heard Varric gasp in surprise, then let out a long moan. She ducked her head to kiss him again. This time his kisses were somewhat frenzied, almost in time with her hand motions. Then Varric was pushing her forward towards the wall. She swung her legs out in front of her and parted them in a clear invitation. Varric quickly removed his shirt before positioning himself above her, and for a moment Marian wondered if he was going to lose his nerve. She could tell that it was going to be slightly awkward for them both, but she wasn't interested in wasting time by maneuvering to find the ideal human-dwarf position.

"Hawke," Varric breathed, his eyes fixed on her face. "Oh, Hawke."

"I'm right here," Marian said, guessing at part of what he was feeling. "I'm here, Varric."

It seemed to be the right thing to say. Varric's hesitancy vanished as he slid inside, and it felt so good, so damned good to have him there. Marian closed her eyes again, mouth hanging open in a soft gasp. After a moment she brought her hands up to rest on his chest, fingers tangling themselves in the thick hair. Varric seemed to be trying to take it slow, at first, but when one of his strokes went in deep Marian let out a loud moan and heard a responding one from him before he picked up the pace. Marian was not at all displeased by this development. She pressed herself against him, whimpering and moaning in encouragement. "Hawke," he said again. "_Hawke._"

The note of ecstasy in his voice sent Marian over the edge. She clenched and pressed against him, panting, driven by something that almost went beyond need. This was Varric, and he was inside her, and somehow that was righting a world, a life, that had gone horribly off-course in the past few years. A few heartbeats later she felt him come, shuddering and pressing himself as close to her as he could manage. When she felt him finish, she slid slightly down the bed and pulled him down to lie on top of her. She didn't care about the weight, didn't care about whatever mess they had made on her bed. She planned to just lie like this forever. With Varric. Keeping him at her side, as he'd always been, as she'd always needed him to be.

"So, Hawke," Varric said after a moment. "I don't suppose we can just agree that was desperate, glad-to-be-alive sex, and forget this ever happened."

For a minute, Marian was afraid that he really meant it. Then she realized that he was joking, trying to pass it off as something light - as he always did. "We could," she replied slowly. "But that would make it awkward when you come back to your room later and find me lying on the bed. Naked."

"Hawke, that may be the sweetest damned thing I've ever heard you say," Varric said after a long moment. He lifted his hand to brush it against her cheek. "You can show up in my room any time you want." He paused. "On second thought, not on poker night. That's an instance where I'd like to keep my shirt on."

"I can live with that," Marian replied. She smiled and closed her eyes, feeling herself relax completely in what seemed like the first time in a very long time. _I think I'm very happy to live with that._


End file.
